So. Yesterday I finally buckled down and fought some of my cravings. No soda - no Dr. Pepper or even diet Dr. Pepper. No sweets...this one was hard for me...I did oatmeal for breakfast, sandwich and fruit for lunch, banana for snack, chicken stir fry for dinner...I started to get a headache early evening...but I expected that...
So this morning? I'm cranky. I'm drinking coffee...but what I really want is a dr. pepper and some donut holes. The awesome part is that it's not even 9:30 and I'm already fighting some serious parenting battles too...and I'm realizing that this is a trigger for me...I feel like I DESERVE a large Dr. Pepper from Sonic for some of my "troubles." When I type it, it seems really petty and silly, but I swear that's what goes through my mind at some level..."I need a distraction...I need something pleasant...Sonic run, anyone?"
That's where I am this morning. Slightly cranky...feeling a little intimidated by making some serious changes to my eating habits...and annoyed to see my weakness revealed in what I previously thought was just a harmless indulgence...what may be permissible may not be beneficial...
More to come...
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Made to Crave update...
Baaahhhh hahahahahahaaa....
Considerably harder than I thought. Several things that have been revealed to me by reading this book. (I'm on my second read-through now and actually answering the questions)
1. I'm incredibly dependent on food - specific ones - to boost my mood or fit into my routine
2. The thought of making serious changes, despite what others around me choose to do, terrifies me.
3. I'm lazy. I said it. I LIKE Dr. Pepper and sweets and chips/queso.
4. I'm skeptical...praying about my cravings...giving up certain things for good...sigh.
The reality? I'm tired of myself before I even try to start. I need accountability and a plan...I need to seriously lay down my "wants"before the Lord in all of their ugliness and vanity...I want to be healthy and attractive without having to work for it. Too much to ask?
I'll keep you posted...
Considerably harder than I thought. Several things that have been revealed to me by reading this book. (I'm on my second read-through now and actually answering the questions)
1. I'm incredibly dependent on food - specific ones - to boost my mood or fit into my routine
2. The thought of making serious changes, despite what others around me choose to do, terrifies me.
3. I'm lazy. I said it. I LIKE Dr. Pepper and sweets and chips/queso.
4. I'm skeptical...praying about my cravings...giving up certain things for good...sigh.
The reality? I'm tired of myself before I even try to start. I need accountability and a plan...I need to seriously lay down my "wants"before the Lord in all of their ugliness and vanity...I want to be healthy and attractive without having to work for it. Too much to ask?
I'll keep you posted...
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Made to Crave...
One of my dearest friends gave me the book Made To Crave by Lysa Terkeurst...and I'm making my way through it. My plan - read the whole thing through once, just getting my mind/heart open to the topics...then dive back into it slowly, chapter by chapter, answering the difficult questions. Lots of layers there for me that I'm not TOO thrilled about uncovering...
Anyway, I was reading this morning (over a healthy breakfast of oatmeal, fruit and coffee, thank you very much!) and I skimmed this paragraph: "Its so easy to park our minds in bad spots. To dwell and rehash and wish things were different. But to think on hard things keeps us in hard spots and only serves to deepen our feelings of emotional emptiness. This is where pity parties are held and we all know pity parties demand an abundance of high-calorie delights, eaten and eaten some more. But pity parties are a cruel way to entertain, for they leave behind a deeper emptiness than we started with in the first place." (page 141)
I need to think on this some more - but immediately this speaks to me because quite honestly I've held ALOT of pity parties for myself in recent years...many do involve food/indulging myself in some way, some involve "venting" to friends (which really ends up being me whining and complaining about all the ways my life is not fair or what I envisioned for myself), some involve focusing on people/things around me that I'm envious of, and ALL of them involve lots of focus on ME and little to no focus on things above...
So this is me...I'm trying to turn over a new leaf and make some different choices this summer...I'm trying to uncover some of the roots of my insecurities and pull them out - replacing them with new things in Jesus...and this is a starting point...I'm open to thoughts, suggestions, etc!
Anyway, I was reading this morning (over a healthy breakfast of oatmeal, fruit and coffee, thank you very much!) and I skimmed this paragraph: "Its so easy to park our minds in bad spots. To dwell and rehash and wish things were different. But to think on hard things keeps us in hard spots and only serves to deepen our feelings of emotional emptiness. This is where pity parties are held and we all know pity parties demand an abundance of high-calorie delights, eaten and eaten some more. But pity parties are a cruel way to entertain, for they leave behind a deeper emptiness than we started with in the first place." (page 141)
I need to think on this some more - but immediately this speaks to me because quite honestly I've held ALOT of pity parties for myself in recent years...many do involve food/indulging myself in some way, some involve "venting" to friends (which really ends up being me whining and complaining about all the ways my life is not fair or what I envisioned for myself), some involve focusing on people/things around me that I'm envious of, and ALL of them involve lots of focus on ME and little to no focus on things above...
So this is me...I'm trying to turn over a new leaf and make some different choices this summer...I'm trying to uncover some of the roots of my insecurities and pull them out - replacing them with new things in Jesus...and this is a starting point...I'm open to thoughts, suggestions, etc!
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Good News!!
Justin is officially commissioned!! He is a reserve officer with the Liberty County Constable's office. This is good because once you get your law enforcement license in Texas you have two years to get commissioned or you have to start all over...now we don't have to worry about that! Keep praying for a full time law-enforcement job...but definitely a step in the right direction!
My baby boy turned two last Friday - pics to follow soon - but oh my word. I can't believe how much he's grown even just since last year!!
It's SPRING BREAK!!!!!!!!!! If you could have spent this week in my classroom you'd understand all those exclamation marks. Sigh. Of. Relief.
More to come...
My baby boy turned two last Friday - pics to follow soon - but oh my word. I can't believe how much he's grown even just since last year!!
It's SPRING BREAK!!!!!!!!!! If you could have spent this week in my classroom you'd understand all those exclamation marks. Sigh. Of. Relief.
More to come...
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Classic (Peg)
This is a classic example of me trying to video a sweet moment and then it all falls apart. Prior to me turning on the camera, Lily was reading to Jude and then he was reading what she read. There's a page about brushing teeth, washing faces and brushing hair that particularly made me laugh...the following is what happened when we tried to recreate the magic...classic. And for those of you that don't get the "peg" reference, go to hulu and find the Saturday Night Live sketch with the Target lady and Justin Timberlake as an old lady. She's Peg. It's a reference to that.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Much anticipated update
Alright, how many times on this thing have I said "I'm gonna be better about posting!!" only to never post again? It's true. I'm the queen of starting with energy/good intentions, only to get sidetracked by the more pressing immediate needs of daily living...so no more bold commitments...I'll do it when I can...and because you love me and I love you, I know you'll understand.
Let's see...where to begin? I'll start with myself, because it's easy. I'm working, teaching 5th grade which is an experience in and of itself. 10 and 11 year olds anyone? Heard of the term pre-teen? Sigh. The upside is that because of my job, I got to participate in this fabulous training in NYC over the summer that made me feel cool and young and academic because I was taking classes at Columbia University and everyone was all hip and New-Yorkish (not sweet but not rude.) It was really enriching and I feel like it made me a better teacher. A down side is that I'm team leader for my team, which I was nervous about to begin with, and if I'm honest about it, I feel like I'm doing an pretty ho-hum job of it...I'm not the most detail-oreinted person. I think I already knew this about myself but now I have no doubt...however my team has extended endless amounts of grace and is to be praised.
Justin is currently working while continuing to apply for a law enforcement job. Truth be told? It would be SO AWESOME if the Lord would see fit to give him a job that is fulfilling and rewarding and exciting. He needs that. He leads worship on Sunday mornings in the Woodlands at a church called Creekside. They are the warmest, most precious people. We have been very blessed by how they've included us in their community even though we live on the other side of America from them. (Okay, so it's 45 minutes but that may as well be the other side of America!)
The kids...oh the kids. Lily just turned 4. Yes, my baby girl. 4. Not a baby. Kills me. She's precocious and creative and sassy and hilarious. She makes the most ridiculous and priceless faces. She's very nurturing to her baby brother. She's mama's little helper, and sometimes I treat her like she's 14 instead of 4. She takes it all in stride and she's a huge blessing. Jude will be 2 in a month. I can hardly believe that...he is chatty and silly. He's currently on a Little Rascals kick (lil lil rackuls, according to him) and his favorite thing to to run around and yell like they do on the movie. He's also quite the snuggle-bug, and of course I will take it while I can get it!! I'll throw in a few pics for kicks...
Much love...Oh, and if you're wondering about the crazy family picture up top? Yes, that is the most successful picture of the 4 of us from Christmas day. Just thought I'd share. ha!
Let's see...where to begin? I'll start with myself, because it's easy. I'm working, teaching 5th grade which is an experience in and of itself. 10 and 11 year olds anyone? Heard of the term pre-teen? Sigh. The upside is that because of my job, I got to participate in this fabulous training in NYC over the summer that made me feel cool and young and academic because I was taking classes at Columbia University and everyone was all hip and New-Yorkish (not sweet but not rude.) It was really enriching and I feel like it made me a better teacher. A down side is that I'm team leader for my team, which I was nervous about to begin with, and if I'm honest about it, I feel like I'm doing an pretty ho-hum job of it...I'm not the most detail-oreinted person. I think I already knew this about myself but now I have no doubt...however my team has extended endless amounts of grace and is to be praised.
Justin is currently working while continuing to apply for a law enforcement job. Truth be told? It would be SO AWESOME if the Lord would see fit to give him a job that is fulfilling and rewarding and exciting. He needs that. He leads worship on Sunday mornings in the Woodlands at a church called Creekside. They are the warmest, most precious people. We have been very blessed by how they've included us in their community even though we live on the other side of America from them. (Okay, so it's 45 minutes but that may as well be the other side of America!)
The kids...oh the kids. Lily just turned 4. Yes, my baby girl. 4. Not a baby. Kills me. She's precocious and creative and sassy and hilarious. She makes the most ridiculous and priceless faces. She's very nurturing to her baby brother. She's mama's little helper, and sometimes I treat her like she's 14 instead of 4. She takes it all in stride and she's a huge blessing. Jude will be 2 in a month. I can hardly believe that...he is chatty and silly. He's currently on a Little Rascals kick (lil lil rackuls, according to him) and his favorite thing to to run around and yell like they do on the movie. He's also quite the snuggle-bug, and of course I will take it while I can get it!! I'll throw in a few pics for kicks...
Much love...Oh, and if you're wondering about the crazy family picture up top? Yes, that is the most successful picture of the 4 of us from Christmas day. Just thought I'd share. ha!
Monday, August 2, 2010
Back...
I'm going to try to rejoin the blogworld. This summer has been good for me - a time to slow down a little, get some exercise, some sleep and some much needed time to plug in to learning through the Word and thru good teaching. I'm on a tough personal journey of trying to trust in the Lord's goodness, to cast my cares upon Him, and to walk out truth in my life - the reality that it's for me and not just for other people. I'm enjoying my kids...I have needed the slower pace...and yet it all comes to an end after this week. It's back to school time and back to long days and routines...I'm asking the Lord that the things he's been teaching me this summer will extend into the year ahead. May I seek to know him more deeply with every trial and every joy. I'll keep you posted as we move along...
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