Ugh

Sometimes I just feel ugh. And by ugh, I mean:

Like my days are filled with picking up toys (over and over and over and over),

Cleaning dishes (that seem to multiply on their own in the sink),

Thinking of things to add to the proverbial to-do list that I never actually write down (even though I allow myself to feel plenty of heaviness over the length of the dang thing),

Wishing I were thinner and more fit and more "hip" (as I eat another bite of cookie dough),

Distracting myself with TV, a pointless book, or surfing other peoples' blogs (which then leaves me feeling even less creative and exciting than I did before - unless it's watching Lost - that show, I love!)

Teaching lessons at school that are prepared with mediocrity and feeling sad over the fact that things are not as they once were (and even in moments of calm when I feel that the Spirit is giving me words that I didn't come up with, I can turn around and feel angry at the very 7 year old who needs to know the love of God the most - what IS that?)

Knowing that I have a wonderful husband who loves me (and still finding something to be unhappy about, even if it's petty or selfish)

This whole post is a real downer, I know. But the reason I've avoided writing since like December is because I feel like I have nothing clever or cool to say...and yet, I also know that I am loved by the Lord. Not just in the "for God so loved the world" way, but in a personal way. What keeps me from walking in THIS reality that I am loved as I am right now - not the version of me that is able to fix all the things on the above list? I'll write more on this when I have an answer.