It just keeps on coming...

So, things are going relatively well. Justin is still looking for a job, so please keep this on your urgent prayer list...there are a couple of things we're hoping will open up on Monday...

We are officially no longer residents of Houston, which hasn't quite hit me yet since I will still be coming back to have a baby any day. And to top it all off, it looks like if I'm not already there having a baby, I'll be coming back to say goodbye to my grandmother, Mimi. She has been slowly making her way home due to Alzheimer's and apparently is in her last days as her body is finally worn out. I have a lot of mixed feelings...relief on her behalf...guilt on mine for not being better about going and sitting with her even though she doesn't know who I am...sadness for myself and my family mostly that we've lost so much of who she is to this disease...she never got to know my daughter, and I know she would have LOVED her. Given the amount of books she read to me, I can only imagine what Lily would have gained from some time tucked under Mimi's arm.

So that is the quick update...I just keep telling myself that on the other side of all this upheaval, daily life will be a breeze, right?

Words I am Clinging to...

These are the lyrics to a song that moves me every time I listen to it...I posted the video version of it back in July...today they are especially fitting to where I find myself...or honestly, in some moments, what I WANT my heart to say, rather than the fear or worry that so easily takes over...

Words & Music by Brooke Fraser

VERSE I:
This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

VERSE II:
This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame

CHORUS:
I will bring praise I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

VERSE III:
This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on its way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

BRIDGE:
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

VERSE IV:
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favour and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've received I will sow

© 2008 Sony/ ATV Music Publishing Australia (Aust. & NZ only),
Hillsong Publishing (Rest of world)

daydreaming...

after i have my baby and i get really skinny and in great shape with fabulously toned arms, i want to go out on a fancy date with justin and wear this dress.

and i'll have on cute shoes and my hair will cooperate and be perfectly shiny and justin will fall madly in love with me all over again over a romantic dinner and i'm going to drink wine and eat something delicious and not worry about what the scale will say.

and then my darling children will sleep soundly all through the night all the way until like 9:00 the next morning and will wake up all smiles and kisses.

yes, i will like that day.

provision

two posts in one day, can you believe it? my co-workers just suprised me with cake, a huge balloon and a $275 gift card to TARGET!!!!! woo hoo!! thank you lord, and sweet ladies of neuhaus education center.

craziness and updates

okay. long overdue for an update. here's the abbreviated version:

- moved the majority of our stuff into a storage unit in brenham, living in our pastor's farmhouse in chappel hill, about 10 minutes outside of town
- finishing up work this week and then will be officially relocated out of houston...weird. i've started having some sadness about this.
- justin has a couple of promising leads in the job department, two of which he'll be meeting about today...please pray!!
- doctor says i'm progressing well - baby could come anytime between now and march 12...i personally hope he waits at least another week or so...and no, we've not settled on a name yet!
- as a side note, moving while great with child is not fun, but we've been grateful for lots of help from friends and family...and our church has been VERY helpful
- lily has been a CHAMP. thank you lord for a daughter who can roll with the punches!
- please continue to pray for us in the transistion, for financial provision, for a good job(s) for justin, for a smooth delivery of a new baby (AAAH!) and anything else the lord lays on your heart...

timely reminder

normally i am hard on our local christian radio station...sometimes the cheese factor is just too much for me, to the point that i get agitated and angry...i know i have issues...and yet, if i'm listening to the radio it's usually on that station. however, this morning they were talking with one of the writers of the movie fireproof (or the book that goes with it or something) and people were calling in to comment or ask questions.

one woman said that the lord gave her a vivid picture years ago that has helped her tremendously - she is the passenger in the boat, her husband the captain...but the lord reminded her that he has the river. i have heard countless different ways to illustrate this same point...but for some reason this morning there was a little click in my mind.

i often ask justin (without actually asking out loud) to be the controller and fixer of all things in our lives. frustration comes when he can't...i mean, he's the leader, right? however, rather than reminding me of my role this morning, the visual picture of the river being the lord's gently convicted me that justin is not in control of where our life together rolls...he is simply responsible for following the flow of the river and trusting the one to whom we're both submitted. i pray that i will be more supporting and encouraging to him in the process.

relief

not much time to blog...much going on (read previous entry if you're wondering what)...but just wanted to brag on my friends for a minute...we had our annual girls weekend at the ranch and i am SO thankful i went despite the chaos of my circumstances. what a refresher! and notice yours truly in the center looking about ready to pop...geez...the camera adds ten pounds, right?

relief

not much time to blog...much going on (read previous entry if you're wondering what)...but just wanted to brag on my friends for a minute...we had our annual girls weekend at the ranch and i am SO thankful i went despite the chaos of my circumstances. what a refresher! and notice yours truly in the center looking about ready to pop...geez...the camera adds ten pounds, right?

The details...so far as I know them...

Okay people...here's your fill in:

We have decided to become a part of a church in Brenham, Tx called Christ Church. (www.christchurchbrenham.com) Justin will be leading worship and will gradually add more to his plate as the church grows. Right now its still pretty small (we had about 45 on Sunday I think.) We do have our own building, its currently being renovated bit by bit, and the vision for it is really exciting. We'd like it to be a venue for other groups to gather - whether artists performing, study groups or other congregations who need a place to meet, etc. Basically we want to have open doors to the community of Brenham and establish a ministry that meets the needs of those around us. We really love the people we've been able to get to know thus far, and feel good about joining in what they've started.

SO...all this means that we need to move to Brenham and that Justin needs a "day job" since I will be at home with our energetic 2 year old and a newborn baby. (If you have connections, feel free to comment!) In the meantime, we will be living in the farmhouse owned by our pastor and his wife, and they've GRACIOUSLY offered for us to stay there as long as we need. Personally, I would like to be in our own space pre-baby, but as you can see from the countdown on the side of the blog, this might not be an option - but who knows. With God, all things are possible, right?!! Thus, the reason for everything happening rather quickly. Brenham isn't a town where you can jump online and do a job search, so the chances of doors opening SOON are a lot better if we're there and making face to face contacts. PLEASE PRAY about this. Being between jobs is scary anytime, but especially with the added demands of a baby and moving to a new place on top of it!

How do I feel about moving? Its mixed...some days I'm super excited about it, mostly because I feel that we're doing what the Lord has asked of us...and other times I start to feel the fears of having to make new friends, not being as close to my deeply appreciated free babysitting (mom and julie), complete change of pace...etc. etc. Brenham is not far away, but it IS far enough away that a "hey let's grab lunch today" or "let's meet at the park and go for a walk" with some of my closest houston pals are no longer easy realities.

How can you pray for us? Pray for financial provision in the transition and the year ahead. Pray for a good job for Justin that meets our needs and is fulfilling to him. Pray that we would become quickly established in relationships - both in our church and in our community. Pray for an affordable home that we can love and share with others. Pray for the details surrounding having a baby in the midst of all this change - for lots and lots of grace.

More to come as it happens...

Mild Panic

Okay, does the countdown on the side of my blog really say 38 days until my due date? Can we all agree that this is not much time and oh my goodness I haven't washed anything yet, or gone through all my newborn "necessities" or made arrangements for Lily when the time to deliver actually does come, or a million other things that need to get done too?????

Oh, and on top of that we're moving. In two weeks. I'll keep you hanging and write more on that soon...

Happy Monday!